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Thursday, February 27, 2014
Friday, June 22, 2012
Stuff about Eryn
1. So when we skype, she does this thing where whenever I get close to the camera, she'll start saying "I like big butts and I cannot lie..."
And so today, we didn't have video on, and I got close to the camera, and she started saying. "I like big butts and I cannot lie..."
...
...
... HOW DID SHE DO THAT?! She couldn't even see me!
2. Her zombie plan involves mooching... Watch out.
3. She has a powder addiction...
...
...
...To pixie sticks.
Like give her five minutes and a pixie stick and it will be gone.
She snorts lines of pixie stick.
If you want her to go somewhere, leave a trail of pixie stuck dust and she will follow.
4. She has an incredible voice. Like my goodness, not a sour note comes out of there. Like she can do a billion different voices, it's terrifying.
5. Her social security number is 5...
And nothing else
6. She is such a jerk on draw something. She spends hours making these amazing drawings that make anything I do look like stick figures.
7. Her house is covered with the wings of mystical flying creatures that she has killed.
And that is absolutely all there is to know about Eryn...
And so today, we didn't have video on, and I got close to the camera, and she started saying. "I like big butts and I cannot lie..."
...
...
... HOW DID SHE DO THAT?! She couldn't even see me!
2. Her zombie plan involves mooching... Watch out.
3. She has a powder addiction...
...
...
...To pixie sticks.
Like give her five minutes and a pixie stick and it will be gone.
She snorts lines of pixie stick.
If you want her to go somewhere, leave a trail of pixie stuck dust and she will follow.
4. She has an incredible voice. Like my goodness, not a sour note comes out of there. Like she can do a billion different voices, it's terrifying.
5. Her social security number is 5...
And nothing else
6. She is such a jerk on draw something. She spends hours making these amazing drawings that make anything I do look like stick figures.
7. Her house is covered with the wings of mystical flying creatures that she has killed.
And that is absolutely all there is to know about Eryn...
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
A conversation with Alex.
Me: if you had to choose how to die. How would you die?
Alex: being shot. I want to look beautiful when I die.
Me: what about dying of dehydration
Alex: no. Then my lips would get chapped and no one could kiss me.
Me. Freezing to death.
Alex: no then I would turn blue.
Alex: being shot. I want to look beautiful when I die.
Me: what about dying of dehydration
Alex: no. Then my lips would get chapped and no one could kiss me.
Me. Freezing to death.
Alex: no then I would turn blue.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
They won't stop laughing.
She was stabbed to death.
He stabbed her 29 times.
I saw every single thrust.
I tried to stop him, but he held me back with his knife.
I knew I needed help, but no one seemed to notice the poor woman, bleeding on the ground.
I stopped someone who was passing by, and pointed to the dying woman.
He stopped and looked at her, but saw no one else giving her attention.
So he walked off.
As I watched him walk off, I heard a disturbing sound from behind me.
The bleeding woman let out a cry for help.
But she choked on the blood her throat.
I heard the bubbling and gargling of blood, and I could see the spurts of blood from her neck.
I saw a group of kids, laughing amongst themselves, and pointing to the woman.
They think it's funny.
I want them to find help, but they tell me that life's short.
Might as well laugh...
I yelled, almost screamed, at them to find help.
They only laughed harder.
Why is no one doing anything?
Why are they all just laughing?
They laughed harder.
Others joined in.
It seemed like the world was laughing.
They look for more things to laugh it, and take the utmost enjoyment at the 25th stab.
I lose it.
I begin to yell, and hit the crowd of laughing spectators.
They only laugh more and more.
They need to laugh.
They live to laugh.
He stabs her for the 26th time.
She screams blood.
The world is now filled with the sounds of yelling, cheering, LAUGHING, and the spitting up of blood.
27.
I feel my stomach giving in.
28.
This isn't real. This isn't real.
29.
The sounds of blood stop.
And as the man walks away from the bloody corpse.
The still won't stop laughing.
He stabbed her 29 times.
I saw every single thrust.
I tried to stop him, but he held me back with his knife.
I knew I needed help, but no one seemed to notice the poor woman, bleeding on the ground.
I stopped someone who was passing by, and pointed to the dying woman.
He stopped and looked at her, but saw no one else giving her attention.
So he walked off.
As I watched him walk off, I heard a disturbing sound from behind me.
The bleeding woman let out a cry for help.
But she choked on the blood her throat.
I heard the bubbling and gargling of blood, and I could see the spurts of blood from her neck.
I saw a group of kids, laughing amongst themselves, and pointing to the woman.
They think it's funny.
I want them to find help, but they tell me that life's short.
Might as well laugh...
I yelled, almost screamed, at them to find help.
They only laughed harder.
Why is no one doing anything?
Why are they all just laughing?
They laughed harder.
Others joined in.
It seemed like the world was laughing.
They look for more things to laugh it, and take the utmost enjoyment at the 25th stab.
I lose it.
I begin to yell, and hit the crowd of laughing spectators.
They only laugh more and more.
They need to laugh.
They live to laugh.
He stabs her for the 26th time.
She screams blood.
The world is now filled with the sounds of yelling, cheering, LAUGHING, and the spitting up of blood.
27.
I feel my stomach giving in.
28.
This isn't real. This isn't real.
29.
The sounds of blood stop.
And as the man walks away from the bloody corpse.
The still won't stop laughing.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
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